A Dog's View of Ownership

If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down,
it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours.

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard."

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made"

I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell (1823-1909)

"Dogs Welcome"

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit and said: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:
"I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here too."

"One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why."

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies."

"Whenever I feel poor, I remember that I'd rather have my dogs than other people's money."

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."

"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson

Good Dog!

9 Peeves Dogs Have About Humans

• Blaming YOUR "nasty gas" on me. Not Funny. Not funny at all!!!!

• Yelling at me for barking. I AM A DOG, that's how I talk!

• Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly WHOSE walk is this anyway?

• Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop It!

• Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you KNOW why we chew up your stuff when you're not home.

• The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog, Woo-Hoo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!

• Taking me to the vet for "The Big Snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

• Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

• Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

Now knock it off, we both know who's boss here!! You don't see me picking up your poop, do you?

Top Ten Reasons to Breed Your Dog ...

10. Thought the house was too orderly.
  9. Never did like having a full nights sleep.
  8. Wanted my vet to get a new BMW.
  7. Thought the furniture looked too nice.
  6. Love puppy noise in the morning, afternoon, evening, midnight, etc.
  5. Backyard needed renovations and didn't want to pay a gardener.
  4. Neighbors didn't complain enough.
  3. Kids weren't enough of a challenge.
  2. If you can train & show one dog, why not ten?
  1. Wanted to see if spouse really meant those vows.

You want me to do what?!?

Hey man, we're with ya, we wouldn't sniff those things either!!!